Just For Laughs
A lady went to the bar on a cruise ship, and ordered a Scotch, with two drops of water. The bartender gave her the drink, and she said, "I'm on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday, and it's today." The bartender said, "Well, since it's your birthday, this one's on me." As the lady finished her drink, a woman, to her right, said, "I'd like to buy you a drink, too." The lady said, "Thank you, how sweet of you. OK, then, Bartender, I want another Scotch, with two drops of water." "Coming up," said the bartender. As she finished that drink, a man, to her left, said, "I'd like to buy you a drink too." The lady said, "Thank you very much, my dear. Bartender, I'll have another Scotch, with two drops of water." "Coming right up," the bartender said. As he gave her the drink, this time, he said, "Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?" The old woman giggled, and replied, "Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Water, however, is a whole other issue."
On This Day in History
October 16 Events: 1781 - George Washington captures Yorktown, Virginia. 1923 - The Walt Disney Company is founded by Walt Disney. 1970 - Anwar Sadat is elected President of Egypt. 1978 - Karol Jozef Wojtyla becomes Pope John Paul II. He is the first Polish Pope and will be Pope for 27 years.
Famous Birthdays
OCTOBER 16 Famous Birthdays: 1758 - Noah Webster (First American Dictionary) 1854 - Oscar Wilde (Playwright) 1946 - Suzanne Somers (Actress) 1958 - Tim Robbins (Actor) 1962 - Flea (Guitarist for Red Hot Chili Peppers)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
A group of elementary school students were on a field trip to the local police station. Several of the children were fascinated by the wanted posters on the wall. Little Billy raised his hand and asked the police officer giving them the tour who the people on the wall were. “Those are pictures of criminals we are looking for,” answered the policeman. “We call those wanted posters.” Little Billy looked puzzled. His hand shot back up into the air. “Well,” he wondered, “Why didn’t you just keep them when you took their picture?”
Betcha Didn't Know This!
The ice cream cone was originally a way to hold flowers, not ice cream!
On the Light Side
A guy stood over his tee shot for a long time, looking up, looking down, and measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed. All this was driving his golfing partner nuts. Finally, his exasperated partner said, "Just hit the stupid ball!" The guy answered, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot." "Forget it, man," said the partner. "There's no way you can hit her from here."
Where Did This Come From?
GIVE A COLD SHOULDER: Being unwelcoming or antisocial toward someone Origin: In medieval England, it was customary to give a guest a cold piece of meat from the shoulder of mutton, pork, or beef chop when the host felt it was time for the guest to leave. This was a polite way to communicate, “You may leave, now.”