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Just For Laughs
A small village was troubled by a man-eating lion. So its leaders sent a message to the great hunter, Jones, to come and kill the beast. For several nights the hunter lay in wait for the lion, but it never appeared. Finally, he told the village chief to kill a cow and give him its hide. Draping the skin over his shoulders, he went to the pasture to wait for the lion. In the middle of the night, the villagers woke to the sound of blood-curdling shrieks coming from the pasture. As they carefully approached, they saw the hunter on the ground, groaning in pain. There was no sign of the lion. ”What happened, Jones? Where is the lion?” asked the chief. ”Forget the damn lion!” he howled. “Which one of you idiots let the bull loose?”
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On This Day in History
January 23 Events: 1997 - Madeleine Albright becomes the first female US Secretary of State. 1571 - The Royal Exchange opens in London. 1907 - Charles Curtis from Kansas, becomes the first Native American US Senator. 1943 - World War II: Australian and American forces finally defeat the Japanese army in Papua. 1973 - President Richard Nixon announces that a peace accord has been reached in Vietnam. 1975 - The TV comedy Barney Miller debuts on ABC
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Famous Birthdays
January 23 Famous Birthdays: 1737 - John Hancock (Declaration of Independence) 1832 - Edouard Manet (Artist) 1944 - Rutger Hauer (Actor) 1957 - Princess Caroline of Monaco (Princess) 1974 - Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (Actress)
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Kids Say the Darnest Things
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
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Betcha Didn't Know This!
The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
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On the Light Side
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 20 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
Where Did This Come From?
GO THE EXTRA MILE: By law a Roman soldier could force anybody to carry his equipment 1 mile. In Matthew 5:41 Jesus told his followers 'if somebody forces you to go 1 mile go 2 miles with him'.