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Just For Laughs
A family took their frail, elderly mother to a nursing home and left her, hoping she would be well cared for. The next morning, the nurses bathed her, fed her a tasty breakfast, and set her in a chair at a window overlooking a lovely flower garden. She seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt sideways in her chair. Two attentive nurses immediately rushed up to catch her and straighten her up. Again she seemed okay, but after a while she slowly started to tilt over to her other side. The nurses rushed back and once more brought her back upright. This went on all morning. Later, the family arrived to see how the old woman was adjusting to her new home. "So Ma, how is it here? Are they treating you all right?" "It's pretty nice," she replied. "Except they won't let me pass gas."
On This Day in History
August 8 Events: 1876 - Thomas Edison received a patent for his mimeograph (similar to a copy machine). 1963 - A gang of robbers steal 2.6 million pounds in bank notes off an English train. This is later called the Great Train Robbery. 1974 - U.S. President Richard Nixon announces his resignation. 1976 - Boston, by the rock band Boston is released. It will become the #1 best-selling debut album to date.
Famous Birthdays
August 8 Famous Birthdays: 1937 - Dustin Hoffman (Actor) 1961 - The Edge (U2 Guitarist) 1976 - Drew Lachey (Singer) 1976 - JC Chasez (Singer) 1981 - Roger Federer (Tennis Player)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"
Betcha Didn't Know This!
In 1930, Fred Newton became the only man to swim the Mississippi River – lengthwise (1,826 miles over a six-month period).
On the Light Side
Ben came from a large family. He had five sisters and three brothers. One day he was looking through the family photo album with his mother when he noticed, in page after page, that all the children were dressed in the same colors. He asked his mother why they were all dressed alike. She explained, “At first, when we had just four children, I dressed you alike so we wouldn’t lose any of you. “Then,” she added, “As the other five came along, I started dressing you alike so we wouldn’t accidentally take one home that didn’t belong to us.”
Where Did This Come From?
GRAVY TRAIN: The phrase means anyone who has an easy task or job that pays a lot but doesn't really work for it as "being on the gravy train" or "riding the gravy train." The phrase originates with (1) the fact that gravy is an automatic by-product when you cook a roast. The juices to make gravy are just there when the roast is done. (2) Train travel was very popular, esp. during the 1920's. Guys who worked on the railroad used the phrase "gravy train" to mean any job they did that paid well, but wasn't hard. The term then slipped into society.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - I am a medical student currently doing a rotation in toxicology at the poison control center. Today, this woman called in very upset because she caught her little daughter eating ants. I quickly reassured her that the ants are not harmful and there would be no need to bring her daughter into the hospital. She calmed down and at the end of the conversation happened to mention that she gave her daughter some ant poison to eat in order to kill the ants. I told her that she better bring her daughter into the emergency room right away.