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Just For Laughs
A man was driving and saw a truck stalled on the side of the highway that had ten penguins standing next to it. The man pulled over and asked the truck driver if he needed any help. The truck driver replied, "If you can take these penguins to the zoo while I wait for AAA that will be great!" The man agreed and the penguins hopped into the back of his car. Two hours later, the trucker was back on the road again and decided to check on the penguins. He showed up at the zoo and they weren't there! He headed back into his truck and started driving around the town, looking for any sign of the penguins, the man, or his car. While driving past a movie theater, the truck driver spotted the guy walking out with the ten penguins. The truck driver yelled, "What are you doing? You were supposed to take them to the zoo!" The man replied, "I did and then I had some extra money so I took them to go see a movie."
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On This Day in History
July 23 Events: 1829 - The typewriter is invented. 1885 - Ulysses S. Grant, 18th President of the United States, dies. 1962 - The Telstar satellite relays the first live trans-Atlantic television signal. 1982 - The International Whaling Commission decides to end commercial whaling.
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Famous Birthdays
July 23 Famous Birthdays: 1936 - Don Drysdale (Baseball pitcher) 1961 - Woody Harrelson (Actor) 1965 - Slash (Guitar player for Guns n' Roses) 1967 - Phillip Seymour Hoffman (Actor) 1968 - Gary Peyton (Basketball Player) 1973 - Nomar Garciapara (Baseball player) 1989 - Daniel Radcliffe (Actor - Harry Potter)
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Kids Say the Darnest Things
The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she announced. “One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.” Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, “I’m not free. I'm four.”
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Betcha Didn't Know This!
While the state of Ohio is listed as the 17th state in the USA, that’s really not true: technically, it is #47. Congress “forgot” to vote on admitting Ohio into the Union until August 7, 1953.
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On the Light Side
HOW TO BATHE A CAT: Thoroughly clean the toilet. Lift both lids and add shampoo. Find and soothe cat as you carry him or her to the bathroom In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids, then sit on top so the cat can’t escape. The cat will self-agitate, producing ample suds. Flush toilet 3 to 4 times. This provides “power rinse,” which is quite effective. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible, then quickly lift both lids. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where you’re now-clean pet will air dry. Sincerely, The Dog
Where Did This Come From?
TO BUILD A FIRE UNDER SOMEONE: We all know that mules are pretty stubborn. Sometimes they just firmly set their legs and well... So, farmers decided that building a small fire under the mule's belly would get him moving. There's no proof this was really done a lot by muleskinners. But, the idea and imagery was such that people started using the phrase to mean "trying to get someone to move or take some action."
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