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Just For Laughs
A customer at Green's Gourmet Grocery marveled at the proprietor's quick wit and intelligence. "Tell me, Green, what makes you so smart?" "I wouldn't share my secret with just anyone," Green replies, lowering his voice so the other shoppers won't hear. "But since you're a good and faithful customer, I'll let you in on my secret: Fish heads. You eat enough of them, you'll be positively brilliant." "You sell them here?" the customer asks. "Only apiece," says Green. The customer buys three. A week later, he's back in the store complaining that the fish heads were disgusting and he isn't any smarter. "You didn't eat enough of them," says Green. The customer goes home with 20 more fish heads. Two weeks later, he's back and this time he's really angry. "Hey, Green," he says, "you're selling me fish heads for apiece when I can buy the whole fish for . You're ripping me off!" "You see?" says Green. "You're smarter already."
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On This Day in History
June 20 Events: 1863 - West Virginia is admitted as the 35th U.S. state. 1877 - The first telephone service is installed. 1991 - The capital of Germany moves from Bonn back to Berlin 2004 - Ken Griffey Jr. hits his 500th home run.
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Famous Birthdays
June 20 Famous Birthdays: 1909 - Errol Flynn (Actor) 1942 - Brian Wilson (Singer with the Beach Boys) 1949 - Lionel Richie (Singer) 1952 - John Goodman (Actor) 1960 - John Taylor (Guitarist with Duran Duran) 1967 - Nicole Kidman (Actress)
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Kids Say the Darnest Things
My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you know how you and God are alike?" I mentally polished my halo and replied, "No, how are we alike?'' "You're both old," he replied.
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Betcha Didn't Know This!
Smearing a small amount of dog feces on an insect bite will relieve the itching and swelling.
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On the Light Side
A pastor of a church is sitting in his study when the phone rings. "Hello?” “Is this Reverend Jones?" the caller asks. "It is." replied the pastor. "This is Bill Johnson with the IRS. I was wondering if you could answer a few questions?" "I'll try." said the pastor. "Do you know a John Timmons?" "I do." "Is he a member of your congregation?" "He is." "Did he donate ,000 to the church?" "He will."
Where Did This Come From?
WET BEHIND THE EARS: This refers to someone who has absolutely no knowledge or skill in some craft or job assignment. It goes beyond being a beginner. It means to know zip, nada, nothing! The origin is simple. I refers to newborn animals, who are wet from the womb when born. They dry slowly and often behind their ears stays wet the longest. Newborns are pretty helpless and know nothing, just like someone who has to do something that they don't know how to do.