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Just For Laughs
Two informally dressed ladies happened to start up a conversation during an endless wait in the LAX airport. The first lady was an arrogant California woman married to a wealthy man; the second was a well-mannered elderly woman from the South. When the conversation centered on whether they had any children, the California woman started by saying, "When my first child was born, my husband built a beautiful mansion for me." The lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman continued, "When my second child was born, my husband bought me a beautiful Mercedes-Benz. Again, the lady from the South commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman continued boasting, "Then, when my third child was born, my husband bought me this exquisite diamond bracelet." Yet again, the Southern lady commented, "Well, bless your heart." The first woman then asked her companion, "What did your husband buy for you when you had your first child?" "My husband sent me to charm school," declared the Southern lady. "Charm school?" the first woman cried, "Oh, my God! What on earth for?" The Southern lady responded, "Well for example, instead of saying 'Who gives a !@#$%?', I learned to say, 'Well, bless your heart.'"
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On This Day in History
August 21 Events: 1911 - The Mona Lisa was stolen by a worker at the Louvre museum. 1931 - Babe Ruth hits his 600th home run. 1933 - Major League baseball holds its first All-Star Game. 1959 - Hawaii becomes the 50th state of the United States. 1982 - Rollie Fingers becomes 1st pitcher to get 300 saves.
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Famous Birthdays
August 21 Famous Birthdays: 1765 - William IV (King of the United Kingdom) 1936 - Wilt Chamberlain (Basketball Player) 1938 - Kenny Rogers (Country singer) 1959 - Jim McMahon (Football Player) 1967 - Carrie Anne Moss (Actress) 1986 - Usain Bolt (Sprinter) 1989 - Hayden Panettiere (Actress)
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Kids Say the Darnest Things
In the maternity ward of a hospital, new-born girl baby looks over at new-born boy baby and asks, "Are you a girl baby or a boy baby?" The boy baby quickly chirps up, "I'm a boy baby!" "How can you tell?" asks girl baby. "Easy," says boy baby. And, with that, he threw off the blankets, hoisted up his itty-bitty night-shirt and proudly pointed downward. “See.....blue booties"
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Betcha Didn't Know This!
Pepsi’s “Come Alive with the Pepsi Generation” translated into “Pepsi Brings Your Ancestors Back from the Grave” in Chinese.
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On the Light Side
A guy has a parrot who's always squawking and making snide remarks. One day he goes too far and the man grabs him and puts him in the freezer. The bird flaps around for a while and then gets quiet. The man fears the worst and opens the door. "Let me out of here and I promise to be a better pet and never say anything like that again," the shivering parrot says. "By the way, what did that turkey do?"
Where Did This Come From?
FISHY Benjamin Disraeli, Prime Minister of England wrote in his novel, Coningsby in which he has the phrase "the most fishy thing I ever saw." to describe a suspicious political deal. He observed that both fish and politicians could be slippery. Today, if something is said to be fishy, it means there is something suspicious about it.
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