Just For Laughs
A young man saw an elderly couple sitting down to lunch at McDonald’s. He noticed that they had ordered one meal, and an extra drink cup. As he watched, the older gentleman carefully divided the hamburger in half, then counted out the fries, one for him, one for her, until each had half of them. Then the old man poured half of the soft drink into the extra cup and set that in front of his wife. The old man then began to eat, and his wife sat watching, with her hands folded in her lap. The young man decided to ask if they would allow him to purchase another meal for them so that they didn’t have to split theirs. The old gentleman said, “Oh, no. We’ve been married 50 years, and everything has always been and will always be shared, 50/50.” The young man then asked the wife if she was going to eat, and she replied, “Not yet. It’s his turn with the teeth.”
On This Day in History
January 23 Events: 1997 - Madeleine Albright becomes the first female US Secretary of State. 1571 - The Royal Exchange opens in London. 1907 - Charles Curtis from Kansas, becomes the first Native American US Senator. 1943 - World War II: Australian and American forces finally defeat the Japanese army in Papua. 1973 - President Richard Nixon announces that a peace accord has been reached in Vietnam. 1975 - The TV comedy Barney Miller debuts on ABC
Famous Birthdays
January 23 Famous Birthdays: 1737 - John Hancock (Declaration of Independence) 1832 - Edouard Manet (Artist) 1944 - Rutger Hauer (Actor) 1957 - Princess Caroline of Monaco (Princess) 1974 - Tiffani-Amber Thiessen (Actress)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people to dinner?"
Betcha Didn't Know This!
The average person over fifty will have spent 5 years waiting in lines.
On the Light Side
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 20 different medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
Where Did This Come From?
GO THE EXTRA MILE: By law a Roman soldier could force anybody to carry his equipment 1 mile. In Matthew 5:41 Jesus told his followers 'if somebody forces you to go 1 mile go 2 miles with him'.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible, but “didn’t think she’d get sunburned because the car was moving.”