Just For Laughs
PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY DEAD AT 71 - Veteran Pillsbury spokesman, AKA; Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast infection. Fresh was buried in one of the largest funeral ceremonies in recent years. Dozens of celebrities turned out, including Mrs. Butterworth, The California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and The Hostess Twinkies. The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who “never knew how much he was kneaded.” Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a role model for millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and one in the oven. The funeral was held at 4:50 for about 20 minutes.
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On This Day in History
November 22 Events: 1922 - Howard Carter finds the Egyptian tomb of Tutankhamun. 1943 - Lebanon gains independence from France. 1963 - In Dallas, Texas, US President John F. Kennedy is assassinated 1963 - Lyndon B. Johnson is sworn in as the 36th President of the United States. 1995 - The movie Toy Story I is released by Pixar studios. 1999 - Wayne Gretzky is inducted into the Hockey Hall of Fame. His number 99 permanently retired by the NHL. 2005 - The Xbox 360 is released in North America.
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Famous Birthdays
NOVEMBER 22 Famous Birthdays: 1890 - Charles de Gaulle (French leader) 1943 - Billie Jean King (Tennis Player) 1958 - Jamie Lee Curtis (Actress)
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Kids Say the Darnest Things
A grandfather and his little granddaughter were sitting and talking when the young girl asked, “Did God make you, Grandpa?” “Yes, God made me,” the grandfather answered. A few minutes later, the little girl asked him, “Did God make me too?” “Yes, He did,” the older man answered. For a few minutes, the little girl seemed to be studying her grandpa, as well as her own reflection in the mirror, while her grandfather wondered what was running through her mind. At last she spoke up. “You know, Grandpa,” she said, “God’s doing a lot better job lately.”
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Betcha Didn't Know This!
When the University of Nebraska Cornhuskers play football at home, the stadium becomes the state's third largest city.
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On the Light Side
When my son graduated from high school, he had to give a speech. He began by reading from his prepared text. "I want to talk about my mother and the wonderful influence she has had on my life," he told the audience. "She is a shining example of parenthood, and I love her more than words could ever do justice." At this point he seemed to struggle for words. After a pause he looked up with a sly grin and said, "It's really hard to read my Mom's handwriting."
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Where Did This Come From?
BEAT SOMEONE TO THE PUNCH: To beat someone to the punch means to do something before they do, and comes from the idea of landing a blow before your opponent. This boxing sense is from 1913 while the figurative meaning came about just a couple of years later.