Just For Laughs
After shopping for most of the day, a couple returns to find their car has been stolen. They go to the police station to make a full report. Then, a detective drives them back to the parking lot to see if any evidence can be found at the scene of the crime. To their amazement, the car has been returned. There is an envelope on the windshield with a note of apology and two tickets to a music concert. The note reads, 'I apologize for taking your car, but my wife was having a baby and I had to hot-wire your ignition to rush her to the hospital. Please forgive the inconvenience. Here are two tickets for tonight's concert of Garth Brooks, the country-and-western music star.' Their faith in humanity restored, the couple attend the concert and return home late. They find their house has been robbed. Valuable goods have been taken from throughout the house, from basement to attic. And, there is a note on the door reading, 'Well, you still have your car. I have to put my newly-born kid through college somehow, don't I?'
On This Day in History
July 22 Events: 1933 - Wiley Post becomes first person to fly solo around the world. 1934 - Public Enemy No. 1"" John Dillinger is killed by FBI agents." 1944 - Communist rule starts in Poland. July 22 - Today is Pi Approximation day because 22/7 is an approximation of the number pi.
Famous Birthdays
July 22 Famous Birthdays: 1937 - Don Henley (Singer with the Eagles) 1940 - Alex Trebek (Game Show Host of Jeopardy) 1955 - Willem Defoe (Actor) 1964 - David Spade (Comedian) 1972 - Keyshawn Johnson (Football Player) 1983 - Steven Jackson (NFL Football player) 1992 - Selena Gomez (Actress and Singer) 1998 - Madison Pettis (Child actress)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
Betcha Didn't Know This!
A fresh onion, when cut, releases a gas called propanethiol-S into the air. When this gas reaches your eyes, it mixes with the water in the eye to form a weak acid. This acid irritates the eye and causes the tear-producing glands to flood the eye with water in an attempt to wash away the irritant. These tears are what makes you look like you’re crying.
On the Light Side
For those of you who watch what you eat… here’s the final word on nutrition and health. It’s a relief to know the truth after all of those studies. The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. The Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. The Italians drink lots of beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than Americans. Conclusion: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.
Where Did This Come From?
BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE: Settlers hunted raccoons, possums and squirrels. Most hunting dogs would chase them up a tree and then bark until their masters came and shot the animals. Sometimes, the animal managed to sneak across to another tree w/o the dog seeing. So, the dog would continue to bark up a tree that didn't have any prey. Soon, the phrase became known in social circles to mean anyone who is wrong about something and/or is being misled.