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Just For Laughs
Everything I Need to Know, I learned from Noah’s Ark…Don’t miss the boat. Remember that we are all in the same boat! Plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark. Stay fit. When you’re 60 years old, someone may ask you to do something really big. Don’t listen to critics; just get on with the job that needs to be done. Build your future on high ground. For safety’s sake, travel in pairs. Speed isn’t always an advantage. The snails and turtles were on board with the cheetahs. When you’re stressed, float awhile. Remember the Ark was built by amateurs; the Titanic by professionals. No matter the storm, when you are with God, there’s always a rainbow waiting.
On This Day in History
October 31 Events: 1517 - Martin Luther posts his 95 theses on the door of the Castle Church in Wittenberg. 1864 - Nevada is admitted as the 36th U.S. state. 1892 - The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes is first published. 1922 - Benito Mussolini becomes the youngest Premier in the history of Italy. 1926 - Magician Harry Houdini dies after his appendix ruptured.
Famous Birthdays
OCTOBER 31 Famous Birthdays: 1632 - Jan Vermeer (Dutch Painter) 1795 - John Keats (English Poet) 1860 - Juliette Low (Girl Scout founder) 1887 - Chiang Kai-shek (Leader of Chinese Nationalist Government) 1931 - Dan Rather (News Anchor) 1950 - John Candy (Comedian) 1961 - Peter Jackson (Director of Lord of the Rings Movies)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept the lights off until we were inside to avoid attracting pesky insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use Grandpa. Now the mosquitoes are coming after us with flashlights."
Betcha Didn't Know This!
Raindrops aren’t really shaped like drops; they are perfectly round!
On the Light Side
Husband's Text Message by cellphone to wife: "Honey, a car hit me when I was out of the office. Paula brought me to the Hospital. They're doing tests and X-rays. I had a very strong blow to my head. Fortunately it did not cause serious injury, but I have three broken ribs and a compound fracture in my left leg. They may have to amputate my right foot." Wife's Response: "Who's Paula?"
Where Did This Come From?
SINCERE: The word "sincere" has some interesting roots. One story is that it comes from the ancient marble quarries of Rome. Apparently, unscrupulous stone dealers covered the marble's imperfections with wax. The practice eventually became illegal, as the Roman Empire certified that all marble must be "sine cera" or "sincerus," meaning without wax - genuine. So, to be sincere is to be genuine.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - A pair of Michigan robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, "Nobody move!" When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him. Stay Alert! They walk among us.