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Just For Laughs
Hospital rules state that patients checking out must have a wheelchair. One day a newly graduated nurse assistant came into the room to find an elderly man fully dressed. He was sitting on the bedside chair, with a piece of packed luggage at his side, all ready to go. When he was shown the wheelchair, he was adamant that he was fully capable of walking himself to the parking lot. But the assistant told him rules were rules, so he relented and let her wheel him out. In the elevator, the assistant asked the elderly man if his wife was coming to meet him. “I don’t think so,” he replied. “It takes her awhile to change her clothes, so she’s probably still upstairs in the bathroom taking off of her hospital gown and getting dressed.”
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On This Day in History
July 19 Events: 1533 - Lady Jane Grey is replaced by Mary I as Queen of England after only nine days as queen. 1588 - The Spanish Armada was first sighted in the English Channel. 1870 - France declares war on Prussia to start the Franco-Prussian War: 2005 - Death Valley, California records a record high temperature of 53.9C (129F).
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Famous Birthdays
July 19 Famous Birthdays: 1814 - Samuel Colt (Inventor of the Colt revolver) 1834 - Edgar Degas (Painter) 1947 - Brian May (Guitarist for rock group Queen) 1962 - Anthony Edwards (Actor) 1965 - Stuart Scott (Sportscaster) 1981 - Nene (Brazilian soccer player)
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Kids Say the Darnest Things
“Isn’t the principal a dummy?!” said a boy to a girl. “Well, do you know who I am?” asked the girl. “No.” replied the boy. “I’m the principal’s daughter.” said the girl. “And do you know who I am?” asked the boy. “No.” she replied. “Thank goodness!” said the boy with a sign of relief.
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Betcha Didn't Know This!
When Alexander Graham Bell died on August 4, 1922, millions of phones went dead. In Bell’s honor, all phones served by the Bell System in the USA and Canada went silent for one minute.
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On the Light Side
The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish. The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted. The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too, was granted. Being that it was now his turn to make a wish, the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!”
Where Did This Come From?
GET THE SACK: Today it means to get laid-off, probably with severance pay and even an explanation? But, in the old days, artisans came with their own tools for the job (usually in a sack). When an employer wanted to fire someone, all he did was hand him his sack and tell him to take his tools and go! No justification was needed. Since the 17th century, the phrase has remained as an expression of losing your job (whether fired or laid-off).