Just For Laughs
Mary was married to a male chauvinist. They both worked full time, but he never did anything around the house and certainly not any housework — that, he declared, was woman’s work. But one evening Mary arrived home from work to find the children bathed, a load of wash in the washing machine and another in the dryer, dinner on the stove and a beautifully set table, complete with flowers. She was astonished, and she immediately wanted to know what was going on. It turned out that Charley, her husband, had read a magazine article that suggested working wives would be more romantically inclined if they weren’t so tired from having to do all the housework in addition to holding down a full-time job. The next day, she couldn’t wait to tell her friends in the office. “How did it work out?” they asked. “Well, it was a great dinner,” Mary said. “Charley even cleaned up, helped the kids with their homework, folded the laundry and put everything away.” “But what about afterward?” her friends wanted to know. “Oh — that didn’t work out,” Mary said. “Charley was too tired.”
On This Day in History
November 20 Events: 1789 - New Jersey becomes the first U.S. state to ratify the Bill of Rights. 1979 - The 1st artificial blood transfusion occurs in the US. 1982 - Andy Kaufman is voted off of Saturday Night Live with a live phone poll. 1984 - McDonald's makes its 50 billionth hamburger.
Famous Birthdays
NOVEMBER 20 Famous Birthdays: 1620 - Perigrine White (1st child born at Plymouth Colony) 1889 - Edwin Hubble (Astronomer) 1925 - Robert F. Kennedy (US Senator and JFK's brother) 1942 - Joe Biden (US Vice President) 1946 - Duane Allman (Rock guitarist) 1956 - Mark Gastineau (Football Player) 1971 - Joel McHale (TV Host - Talk Soup) 1976 - Dominique Dawes (Gymnast) 1977 - Josh Turner (Country singer)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful eyes of her young granddaughter, as she'd done many times before. After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said, "But Grandma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!" I will probably never put lipstick on again without thinking about kissing the toilet paper good-bye.
Betcha Didn't Know This!
Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.
On the Light Side
When my husband and I showed up at a popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up to the hostess and asked, “Will it be long?” the hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book. I asked again, “How much of a wait?” The woman looked up from her book and said, “About ten minutes.” A short time later, we heard a voice over the loudspeaker: “Willette B. Long, your table is now ready.”
Where Did This Come From?
“SLUSH FUND” & “SKIMMING OFF THE TOP” These terms have their origins in the British Navy. The ship’s cook would sell the slush — the salty fat that he “skimmed off the top” from the boiling pot of meat — to soap makers when in port. The money collected would be put into the “slush fund” and used for amenities such as rum and finer foods for the crew. Nowadays, the term “slush fund” refers to any monies that are fraudulently set aside.