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Just For Laughs
While cruising at 36,000 feet, the airplane shuddered, and a passenger looked out the window. ”Oh no!” he screamed, “One of the engines just blew up!” Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side. The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn’t maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seats and began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attached the package to their backs. “Say,” spoke up an alert passenger, “Aren’t those parachutes?” The pilot confirmed that they were. The passenger went on, “But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?” “There isn’t,” replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. “We’re going to get help.”
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On This Day in History
January 19 Events: 1937 - Howard Hughes sets a new cross country air record. 1953 - Lucy gives birth on I Love Lucy. 1955 - The Scrabble board game is invented. 1966 - Indira Gandhi is elected Prime Minister of India.
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Famous Birthdays
January 19 Famous Birthdays: 1736 - James Watt (Inventor) 1807 - Robert E. Lee (Civil War General) 1809 - Edgar Allen Poe (Author and poet) 1839 - Paul Cezanne (Artist) 1943 - Janis Joplin (Singer) 1946 - Dolly Parton (Country Singer) 1971 - Shawn Wayans (Actor) 1992 - Shaun Johnson (Gold Medal Gymnast)
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Kids Say the Darnest Things
One evening a little girl and her parents were sitting around the table eating supper. The little girl said: "Daddy, you're the boss, aren't you?" Her Daddy smiled, pleased, and said: "Yes!" The little girl continued: "That's because Mommy put you in charge, right?"
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Betcha Didn't Know This!
People do not get sick from cold weather; it's from being indoors a lot more.
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On the Light Side
A man jumps out of an airplane with a parachute on his back. As he’s falling, he realizes hiss chute is broken. He doesn’t know anything about parachutes, but as the earth rapidly approaches, he realizes his options are limited; he takes off the parachute and tries to fix it himself on the way down. The wind is ripping past his face, he’s dropping like a rock, and at 5000 feet, and another man goes shooting up past him. In desperation, the man with the chute looks up and yells, “Hey do you know anything about parachutes?!”The guy flying up looks down and yells, “No, do you know anything about gas stoves?!”
Where Did This Come From?
EARMARKED: This comes from the days when livestock had their ears marked so their owner could be easily identified.