Thursday, July 18, 2024
Just For Laughs
This is the true story of George Phillips of Meridian, Mississippi, who was going to bed when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the shed. George opened the door to go turn off the light but saw there were people in the shed in the process of stealing things. He immediately phoned the police, who asked, "Is someone in your house?" and George said, "No," and explained the situation. Then they explained that all patrols were busy, and that he should simply lock his door and an officer would be there when available. George said, "Okay," hung up, counted to 30, and phoned the police again. "Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I've just shot them all." Then he hung up. Within five minutes three squad cars, an Armed Response unit, and an ambulance showed up. Of course, the police caught the burglars red-handed. One of the policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!" George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
On This Day in History
July 18 Events: 1938 – “Wrongway"" Corrigan lands his plane in Ireland (he was supposed to land in California). 1968 - The chip processor company Intel is founded. 1976 - Nadia Comanici scores the first perfect 10 in Olympic gymnastics. 1999 - David Cone pitches a perfect game for the New York Yankees.
Famous Birthdays
July 18 Famous Birthdays: 1635 - Robert Hooke (Scientist) 1895 - George Kelly (Gangster nicknamed Machine Gun) 1913 - Red Skelton (Comedian) 1918 - Nelson Mandela (Civil Rights Leader) 1921 - John Glenn (Astronaut and US Senator) 1940 - Joe Torre (Baseball Manager) 1947 - Steve Forbes (Entrepreneur) 1957 - Nick Faldo (Golfer) 1967 - Vin Diesel (Actor) 1980 - Kristen Bell (Actress)
Betcha Didn't Know This!
The highest waterfall in the world, Angel Falls in Venezuela, has a total drop of 3,121 feet.
Kids Say the Darnest Things
Harry got up in front of the class and read his book report aloud. When he finished, the teacher said, “That was very good, and I am so glad you didn’t tell us what happens at the end.” “Well,” said Harry proudly, “I figured if they wanted to know the ending, they could do what I did and rent the movie.”
On the Light Side
Sally walked in to the Dentist office to make an appointment. “How much do you charge to pull out a tooth?” She asked.” “It’s 0″, was the prompt reply. “0!” gasped Sally, that’s ridiculous! There must be a way for you to go cheaper.” “Well,” said the Dentist thoughtfully, I suppose if we don’t numb it, we could knock off .” “Only ?” countered Sally, “that’s still 0, you’ve got to make it cheaper.” “Well,” said the Dentist after a long pause, “I suppose if we take it out with a wrench we could knock it down to .” “Perfect”, said Sally happily. “I would like to make an appointment for next Tuesday, for my husband Jack.”
Where Did This Come From?
BY THE SKIN OF YOUR TEETH: This is a phrase that means to barely escape a disaster. But, we don't have skin on our teeth (we have enamel). The origin is from the bible, the Book of Job 19:20 where Job says he's escaped by the skin of his teeth.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - This man kept calling the court house three times in a row...but, he was dialing the wrong number. On the third call, my friend the judges assistant, beginning to lose patience, says to him..."SIR you KEEP calling...THIS IS THE WRONG NUMBER." Now, I swear to you...this happened ... I was standing RIGHT there... He responds frustrated, "It CAN'T be the wrong number, I'm hitting redail!"