Saturday, March 2, 2024
Just For Laughs
One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in the tiny town of Johnstown got up early and went to the local church. Before the service started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking about their lives, their families, etc. Suddenly, the Devil himself appeared in front of the congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone was evacuated from the church except for one elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew, not moving, seemingly oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence Now this confused Satan a bit, so he walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?" The man replied, "Yep, sure do." Satan asked "Aren't you afraid of me?" "Nope, sure ain't," said the man. Satan was a little perturbed at this and queried, "Why aren't you afraid of me?" The man calmly replied, "I been married to your sister for 48 years."
On This Day in History
March 2 Events: 1855 - Alexander II becomes Tsar of Russia. 1899 - Mount Rainier National Park is established. 1933 - The movie King Kong premieres in New York City. 1946 - Ho Chi Minh is elected the President of North Vietnam. 1949 - First non-stop around the world airplane flight. 1962 - Wilt Chamberlain scores 100 points in a basketball game
Famous Birthdays
March 2 Famous Birthdays: 1316 - Robert II (King of Scotland) 1904 - Dr. Seuss or Theodor Geisel (Author) 1917 - Desi Arnaz (Singer and actor) 1931 - Mikhail Gorbachev (Russian Leader) 1950 - Karen Carpenter (Singer) 1952 - Laraine Newman (Actress and Comedienne) 1962 - John Bon Jovi (Singer) 1985 - Reggie Bush (Football player)
Betcha Didn't Know This!
A comet's tail always points away from the sun.
Kids Say the Darnest Things
One day a mom noticed that when her son was logging onto a favorite website he typed a very long password. She asked him what it was, and he replied, "MickeyMinnieGoofyPluto." She asked him why he would use such a password. "Because," he explained, "It says your password has to have at least four characters."
On the Light Side
Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, 'You're really doing great, aren't you?' Morris replied, 'Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'' The doctor said, 'I didn't say that…I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'
Where Did This Come From?
RED TAPE This phrase comes from the days when official documents were bound with red tape.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - In 1995 a man from Michigan, died while attempting to repair his truck from underneath while it was still in motion. Local newspapers reported that he had asked his friend to drive the truck on a highway while he clung to its undercarriage in an ill-fated attempt to work out the source of a funny noise it kept making. He was 34. Stay alert! They walk among us!