Just For Laughs

One day a little girl was watching her mom make roast beef. Her mother cut off the ends, wrapped it in string, seasoned it and set it in the roasting pan. The little girl asked her mom why she cut off the ends of the roast. Mom replied she didn’t know why — but it was the way that her mother had done it. That night grandma came to dinner and the little girl and her mom went to her and asked why she had cut the ends off of the roast before cooking. Grandma replied she didn’t know why — but that was the way her mother had done it. Great grandmother was quite old and in a nursing home. But the next time the little girl and her mom and grandma went to see her, she again asked the question. Great Grandma looked at them a bit surprised and said, “We were poor and had a small oven in those days. I cut off the ends so it would fit.”

On This Day in History

March 23 Events: 1775 - Patrick Henry delivers his famous speech where he says "give me liberty or give me death!". 1857 - First elevator is installed. Elisha Otis installs the elevator in New York City. 1806 - Explorers Lewis and Clark begin their journey home from the Pacific Ocean. 1903 - The Wright Brothers apply for a patent for the airplane. 1933 - Adolf Hitler becomes Dictator of Germany.

Famous Birthdays

March 23 Famous Birthdays: 1908 - Joan Crawford (Actress) 1949 - Ric Ocasek (Singer with The Cars) 1953 - Chaka Khan (Singer) 1954 - Kenneth Cole (Fashion designer) 1957 - Amanda Plummer (Actress) 1973 - Jason Kidd (NBA basketball player) 1976 - Keri Russell (Actress) 1985 - Maurice Jones-Drew (NFL Football player)

Betcha Didn't Know This!

The first black surgeon to do open heart surgery was Dr. Daniel Hale Williams. In 1893, he saved a man who was knifed by opening his chest and sewing together the wound, which was only a fraction of an inch from his heart. He was one of the first to do this. He accomplished this without any modern medical devices, such as x-rays.

Kids Say the Darnest Things

Nine-year-old Aaron came home from the playground with a bloody nose, black eye, and torn clothing. It was obvious he'd been in a bad fight and lost. While his father was patching him up, he asked his son what happened. "Well, Dad," said Aaron, "I challenged Larry to a duel. And, you know, I gave him his choice of weapons." "Uh-huh," said the father, "that seems fair." "I know, but I never thought he'd choose his sister!"

On the Light Side

We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'Seniors Special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for .99. 'Sounds good,' my wife said, 'But I don't want the eggs.' 'Then, I'll have to charge you .49 because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her. 'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously. 'Yes!' stated the waitress. 'I'll take the special then,' my wife said. 'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked. 'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.

Where Did This Come From?

TOUCH AND GO: This old saying probably comes from ships sailing in shallow waters where they might touch the seabed then go. If so, they were obviously in a dangerous and uncertain situation.

Idiot Sightings

IDIOT SIGHTING - In a semi-rural area in Kansas, a new neighbor called the local township administrative office to request the removal of the "Deer Crossing" sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! This isn’t a good place for them to be crossing anymore." They Walk Among Us.