Join our Welcoming Committee along a Fossils To Fall Road Trip
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Join our Welcoming Committee along a Fossils To Fall Road Trip
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Just For Laughs
A young couple got married and left on their honeymoon. When they got back, the bride immediately called her mother. "Well," said her mother, "so - how was the honeymoon?" "Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..." Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned Sam started using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take me home ... PLEASE MAMA!" "Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so awful? WHAT 4-letter words?" "Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so embarrassed - they're just too awful! COME GET ME, PLEASE!!!" "Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset... Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter words!" Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like: Dust, Wash, Iron, Cook...."
On This Day in History
September 26 Events: 1580 - Sir Francis Drake completes his circumnavigation of the globe. 1950 - Seoul is taken from the North Koreans by the UN. 1957 - Leonard Bernstein's West Side Story opens on Broadway 1969 - The Brady Bunch airs its first episode on TV. 1981 - Baseball pitcher Nolan Ryan throws a record fifth no-hitter.
Famous Birthdays
September 26 Famous Birthdays: 1774 - Johnny Appleseed (Environmentalist) 1849 - Ivan Pavlov (Scientist) 1888 - T.S. Eliot (Author) 1898 - George Gershwin (Composer) 1956 - Linda Hamilton (Actress) 1962 - Melissa Sue Anderson (TV's Mary Ingalls) 1981 - Serena Williams (Tennis Player)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
The Fourth of July weekend was approaching, and Miss Pelham, the nursery school teacher, took the opportunity to tell her class about patriotism. “We live in a great country,” she announced. “One of the things we should be happy is that, in this country, we are all free.” Trevor, who was a little boy in her class, came walking up to her from the back of the room. He stood with his hands on his hips and said loudly, “I’m not free. I'm four.”
Betcha Didn't Know This!
When it comes to incarcerating its population, the United States is the world's uncontested leader. With 2.2 million people behind bars it has 5% of the world's population but 25% of the world's incarcerated population. China comes in second place at 1.5 million and Russia comes third at 870,000.
On the Light Side
"Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife. "No," I said. She gave me a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her purse and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill. "Have you ever seen a fifty dollar bill all crumpled up?" she asked. "No," I said. She gave me another sexy little smile, seductively reached into her bra and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill. "Now," she said, "Have you ever seen ,000 all crumpled up?" "No," I said, intrigued. "Well, go and take a quick look in the garage."
Where Did This Come From?
BREAK A LEG! : How many times have we heard someone shout, "Break a leg!" to someone going onstage? This is a phrase that seems to be counter intuitive. Certainly, you don't want someone to actually break their leg onstage. The phrase was first recorded in print in the early 1900s. The phrase traces back to early aviators, possibly during World War I, spreading gradually to the German stage and then to British and American theaters. Why would people twist a wish for dreadful injury into one for good luck? It is suggested that it is a reverse psychology of sorts. Popular folklore down through the ages has been full of warnings against wishing your friends good luck. To do so is was thought superstitiously to tempt evil spirits or demons to do your friend harm. Instead, they would wish their friend bad fortune.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - Years ago, I had a part time job at a Wal-Mart. It was one of those that were open 24 hours a day. One of my duties was answering the phone, and we had a set script something like this: "Thank you for choosing your 24 hour Wal-Mart. How may I direct your call?" It would always amaze me how many people would then ask us what time we closed the store for the day