Join our Welcoming Committee along a Fossils To Fall Road Trip
Just For Laughs
According to a news report, a certain private school was recently faced with an unusual problem. A number of the girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints every night the maintenance man would remove them and the next day the girls would put them back. Finally the Headmistress decided that something had to be done ... She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses). To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet bowl, and cleaned the mirror with it. The silence was broken by a large number of gasps, a few girls vomited and apparently someone fainted. Since then there have been no lip prints on the mirror…... There are teachers . . . And then there are educators.
On This Day in History
July 28 Events: 1493 - The Great Fire in Moscow, Russia. 1821 - Jose de San Martin of Peru declares independence from Spain. 1914 - Austria-Hungary declares war on Serbia starting WWI. 1945 - A US Army bomber accidentally crashes into the 79th floor of the Empire State Building.
Famous Birthdays
July 28 Famous Birthdays: 1866 - Beatrix Potter (Author of Peter Rabbit) 1929 - Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis (First Lady to President Kennedy) 1943 - Bill Bradley (NBA basketball player and US Senator) 1945 - Jim Davis (Cartoonist - Garfield) 1948 - Sally Struthers (Actress) 1965 - Lori Loughlin (Actress)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
A little boy had been pawing over the stock of greeting cards at a stationery store. After a few minutes the clerk became curious and asked, "Just what is it you're looking for, sonny? Birthday greeting? Message to a sick friend? Anniversary congratulations to your mom and dad?" The boy shook his head, "No." "Then what kind of card is it that you want?" asked the clerk. The boy answered, "Got anything in the line of blank report cards?"
Betcha Didn't Know This!
Humans shed about 600,000 particles of skin every hour - about 1.5 pounds a year. By 70 years of age, an average person will have lost 105 pounds of skin.
On the Light Side
A week after John bought a bull, he complained to his friend, “All that bull does is eat grass. Won’t even look at a cow.” “Take him to the vet,” his friend suggested. The next week, John is much happier. “The vet gave him some pills, and the bull serviced all of my cows!” he told his pal. “Then he broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbor’s cows! He’s like a machine!” “What kind of pills were they?” asked the friend. “I don’t know, but they taste a little like peppermint.”
Where Did This Come From?
THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE: Information that is received as unconfirmed and more like gossip is said to have come through the grapevine. The phrase simply goes back to all the wires that were strung between poles for Morse Code messages. During the Civil War many messages were received either erroneously (due to transmission) or on purpose to spread false gossip and thus unreliable no matter how you looked at it.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING As a female shopper exited a New York convenience store, a man grabbed her purse and ran. The clerk called 911 immediately, and the woman was able to give them a detailed description of the snatcher. Within minutes, the police apprehended the snatcher. They put him in the car and drove back to the store. The thief was then taken out of the car and told to stand there for a positive ID. To which he replied, "Yes, officer, that's her. That's the lady I stole the purse from." Stay alert! They walk among us!