Monday, February 17, 2025
Just For Laughs
A businessman had a meeting with his new son-in-law. "I love my daughter, and now I welcome you into the family," said the man. "To show you how much we care for you, I'm making you a 50-50 partner in my business. All you have to do is learn the factory operations." The son-in-law interrupted. "I hate factories. I can't stand the noise." "I see," replied the father-in-law. "Then you'll work in the office and take charge of some of the operations." "I hate office work," said the son-on-law. "I can't stand being behind a desk all day." "I just made you a half-owner of a profitable corporation, but you don't like factories and won't work in a office. What am I going to do with you?" said the father in law. "Easy," said the son in law. "Buy me out!!!"
On This Day in History
February 17 Events: 1621 - Miles Standish becomes commander of Plymouth colony. 1867 - The first ship passes through the Suez Canal. 1933 - Newsweek is published for the first time. 1959 - First weather satellite is launched.
Famous Birthdays
February 17 Famous Birthdays: 1836 - Jim Brown (Football Player) 1843 - Montgomery Ward (Retailer) 1954 - Rene Russo (Actress) 1963 - Michael Jordan (Basketball Player) 1963 - Larry the Cable Guy (Comic) 1972 - Denise Richards (Actress) 1974 - Bryan White (Singer) 1981 - Paris Hilton (Hotel Heiress)
Betcha Didn't Know This!
ABRAHAM LINCOLN: At 6 foot 4 inches, he was tallest president.
Kids Say the Darnest Things
A grandfather was delivering his grandchildren to their home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started discussing the dog's duties. "They use him to keep crowds back", said one child. "No", said another. "He's just for good luck." A third child brought the argument to a close. "You're both wrong. They use the dogs", she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrants."
On the Light Side
Once upon a time, a Prince asked a beautiful Princess, "Will you marry me?" The Princess said, "No!!!" And the Prince lived happily ever after and rode motorcycles and dated skinny long-legged women and hunted and fished and raced cars and went to bars and dated ladies half his age and drank whiskey, beer and imported Scotch and never heard complaining and never paid child support or alimony and kept his house and guns and ate spam and potato chips and beans and all his friends and family thought he was cool and he had tons of money in the bank and left the toilet seat up. The end. Please remember, it’s just a fairy tale!
Where Did This Come From?
GO COLD TURKEY: To quit something abruptly. History: People believed that during withdrawal, the skin of drug addicts became translucent, hard to the touch, and covered with goose bumps – like the skin of a plucked turkey.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - This man kept calling the court house three times in a row...but, he was dialing the wrong number. On the third call, my friend the judges assistant, beginning to lose patience, says to him..."SIR you KEEP calling...THIS IS THE WRONG NUMBER." Now, I swear to you...this happened ... I was standing RIGHT there... He responds frustrated, "It CAN'T be the wrong number, I'm hitting redail!"