Just For Laughs

One day, two rednecks named Bubba and Earl were driving down the road, drinking a couple of Buds. The passenger, Bubba, said, "Lookey thar up ahead Earl. It's a po-leece roadblock. We're gonna get busted fer drinkin' these here beers!" "Don't worry Bubba," Earl said. "We'll just pull over and finish drinkin' these beers, peel off the label and stick it on our foreheads, then throw the bottles und...er the seat." "What fer?" asked Bubba. "Just let me do the talking, okay?" said Earl. They finished their beers, threw the empty bottles under the seat and slapped the labels on their foreheads. When they reached the roadblock, the sheriff asked, "Have you boys been drinking?" "No sir," replied Earl. "We're on the patch!"

On This Day in History

September 15 Events: 1858 - The first mail service begins to the Pacific Coast of the U.S between Tipton, MO and San Francisco, CA. 1923 - Oklahoma was placed under martial law by Gov. John Calloway Walton due to terrorist activity by the Ku Klux Klan. 1928 - Alexander Fleming discovered the antibiotic penicillin in the mold Penicillium notatum. 1935 - The Nuremberg Laws were enacted by Nazi Germany. The act stripped all German Jews of their civil rights and the swastika was made the official symbol of Nazi Germany. 1940 - The German Luftwaffe suffered the loss of 185 planes in the Battle of Britain. 1949 - "The Lone Ranger" premiered on ABC. Clayton Moore was the Lone Ranger and Jay Silverheels was Tonto. 1965 - "Green Acres" premiered on CBS TV. 1978 - Muhammad Ali defeated Leon Spinks to win his 3rd World Heavyweight Boxing title. 1982 - The first issue of "USA Today" was published. 1997 - The domain name "google.com" was registered.

Famous Birthdays

September 15 Famous Birthdays: 1857 - William H. Taft (27th US President) 1890 - Agatha Christie (Mystery writer) 1946 - Oliver Stone (Director) 1946 - Tommy Lee Jones (Actor) 1961 - Dan Marino (NFL Quarterback) 1984 - Prince Harry of Wales (Prince)

Betcha Didn't Know This!

In almost every category - culturally, economically, climatically, racially, linguistically, ethnically, and religiously India is the most diverse countries in the world.

Kids Say the Darnest Things

A small boy is sent to bed by his father. Five minutes later: “Daa-aad” “What” said the father. “I’m thirsty, can you bring me a drink of water?” “No, you had your chance. Lights out.” Five minutes later: “Daa-aaad” “What!?” I’m THIRSTY can I have a drink of water?” I told you “NO! If you ask again, I’ll have to spank you!” Five minutes later….”Daaaa-aaaaaaad….. When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?”

On the Light Side

A cop is staking out a bar for drunk drivers. At closing time, he sees a guy stumble out of the bar, trip on the curb, and fumble for his keys for five minutes. When he finally gets in, it takes him another five minutes to get the key in the ignition. Meanwhile, everybody else leaves the bar and drives off. When he finally pulls away, the cop is waiting for him, pulls him over, and gives him a Breathalyzer test. The test shows he has a blood alcohol level of 0.0. The cop says, "How is this possible?" The guy says, "Tonight I'm the designated decoy."

Where Did This Come From?

TO SELL SOMEONE DOWN THE RIVER: This way of saying someone has been deceived or betrayed probably originated in the late 19th century in the Southern states of America. By then it was illegal to import slaves, so there was an internal trade where slaves were brought down the Mississippi to the slave markets. So if a slave was ‘sold down the river’, he lost his home and family.

Idiot Sightings

IDIOT SIGHTING - One of my friends once had his photos taken at a local photo shop. The next day he went to pick them up but the person at the desk refused to give him his photos without the purchase slip and the photos themselves were not enough to convince him that it was actually the right person wanting his photos back. Stay alert! They walk among us!