Join our Welcoming Committee along a Fossils To Fall Road Trip
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Just For Laughs
A game warden stops a poacher walking along the beach and tells him he's going to fine him for taking lobsters without a permit. The poacher tells the warden the two lobsters in his hands are his pets and he was just taking them for a walk. "Nonsense," says the game warden. "It's true, it's not against the law to walk your pets along the beach, is it?" asks the man. "I send them into the surf for a swim and when I whistle they come back to me". "I've got to see this; show me "says the game warden. So the man tosses both lobsters into the ocean and the game warden says, "Okay, now let's hear you whistle for your lobsters to swim back to you." "Lobsters?" asks the poacher, "What lobsters?"
On This Day in History
December 3 Events: 1609 - Galileo builds an improved telescope after hearing of Hans Lippershey's invention. 1775 - 1st official U.S. flag raising takes place on the navy ship Alfred. 1818 - Illinois is admitted as the 21st U.S. state. 1988 - Barry Sanders wins the Heisman Trophy Award.
Famous Birthdays
DECEMBER 3 Famous Birthdays: 1857 - Joseph Conrad (Author) 1948 - Ozzy Osbourne (Rock singer) 1968 - Brendan Fraser (Actor) 1973 - Holly Marie Combs (Actress) 1980 - Anna Chlumsky (Actress - Film My Girl)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
It was the end of the day when a policeman was parking his police car in front of the station. As he gathered his equipment, his K-9 partner, Spike, was barking, and he saw a little boy staring at him. “Is that a dog you got back there?” the boy asked. “It sure is,” the policeman replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at the office and then towards the back of the car. Finally the boy asked, “So… What’d he do?”
Betcha Didn't Know This!
Saturn’s moon, Titan, actually has many geysers spewing out of its south poles. Scientists have said that the geysers are very similar to the ones here on earth.
On the Light Side
Joe’s wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying the “miracle” products, she asked, “Darling, honestly, what age would you say I am?” Looking over her carefully, Joe replied, “Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty five.” “Oh, you flatterer!” she gushed. “Hey, wait a minute!” Joe interrupted. “I haven’t added them up yet.”
Where Did This Come From?
Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left? BECAUSE: When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - At the bank where I worked, a young fellow came in one day and told me he wanted to borrow some money but he was training to be a professional WWF-like wrestler so didn't have a steady stream of income. I asked him to get a letter drawn up confirming the amount and return to the bank as soon as possible. He wasn't clear on this so I told him he needed a piece of paper from his employer, saying how much money he makes, and it should have letterhead at the top of the page. Well, the next day he did return, with a letter done up in his own hand writing, saying "I, John Smith, make 00 a month", and the word "Letterhead" clearly hand printed at the top of the page.