Join our Welcoming Committee along a Fossils To Fall Road Trip
PlayPlay
Join our Welcoming Committee along a Fossils To Fall Road Trip
PlayPlay
previous arrow
next arrow
Just For Laughs
The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she answered. "Interesting," the newsman thought. He then asked her if she wouldn't mind telling him a little about her first three husbands and what they did for a living. She paused for a few moments, needing time to reflect on all those years. After a short time, a smile came to her face and she answered proudly, explaining that she had first married banker when she was in her 20's, then a circus ringmaster when in her 40's, and a preacher when in her 60's, and now - in her 80's - a funeral director. The interviewer looked at her, quite astonished, and asked why she had married four men with such diverse careers. She smiled and explained, "I married one for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to go."
On This Day in History
January 26 Events: 1915 - The Rocky Mountain National Park is formed 1340 - King Edward III of England is declared King of France. 1785 - Benjamin Franklin writes a letter to his daughter. 1837 - Michigan is admitted as the 26th U.S. state. 1841 - The United Kingdom formally occupies Hong Kong. 1934 - The Apollo Theater opens in Harlem, New York City. 2005 - Condoleezza Rice is sworn in as U.S. Secretary of State. 1788 - The first penal colony is founded at Botany Bay, Australia.
Famous Birthdays
January 26 Famous Birthdays: 1880 - Douglas MacArthur (US General) 1925 - Paul Newman (Actor) 1955 - Eddie Van Halen (Guitarist) 1958 - Ellen DeGeneres (Actress and Talk Show Host) 1958 - Anita Baker (Singer) 1961 - Wayne Gretzky (Hockey Player)
Kids Say the Darnest Things
A little girl and her older brother were visiting their grandfather's farm. The older brother decided to play a trick on his younger sister. He told her that he discovered a man-eating chicken. The girl was frightened, and ran inside in fear. Then the older brother heard his little sister scream. He ran inside immediately. She was screaming at their grandfather, who was chowing down on a plate of fried chicken. "What is it?" he asked. The sister turned to him in fear and said," It- it's- IT'S A MAN EATING CHICKEN!!!"
Betcha Didn't Know This!
A coat hanger is 44 inches long when straightened.
On the Light Side
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're full of nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after four nights, he proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree. Moral of the story: Bullsh*t might get you to the top, but won't keep you there!
Where Did This Come From?
Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called 'passing the buck'? BECAUSE: In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would 'pass the buck' to the next player.
Idiot Sightings
IDIOT SIGHTING - I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I had to explain that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned. Stay alert! They Walk Among Us.