Just For Laughs

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, "My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?" The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, and even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, and even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it was, but the monks reply, "We can't tell you. You're not a monk." The man says, "All right, all right. I'm dying to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?" The monks reply, "You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk." The man sets about his task. Forty five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, "I have travelled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth." The monks reply, "Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound." The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, "The sound is right behind that door." The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, "Real funny. May I have the key?" The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks. Finally, the monks say, "This is the last key to the last door." The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can't tell you what it is, because you're not a monk.

On This Day in History

July 27 Events: 1866 - The Atlantic Cable is successfully completed allowing transatlantic telegraph communication. 1940 - Bugs Bunny makes first appears in the cartoon A Wild Hare. 1949 - The first jet-powered airliner, the de Havilland Comet, takes flight. 1953 - The Korean War ends after 3 years of fighting.

Famous Birthdays

July 27 Famous Birthdays: 1667 - Johann Bernoulli (Mathematician) 1901 - Rudy Vallee (Singer) 1922 - Norman Lear (TV Producer) 1948 - Peggy Flemming (Figure Skater) 1975 - Alex Rodriguez (Baseball Player) 1996 - Ashlyn Sanchez (Chile actress)

Betcha Didn't Know This!

Beards are the fastest growing hairs on the human body. If the average man never trimmed his beard, it would grow to nearly 30 feet long in his lifetime.

Kids Say the Darnest Things

Tom had won a toy at a raffle. He called his kids together to ask which one them should have the present. "Who is the most obedient?" he asked, "Who never talks back to mother? Who does everything she says?" Three small voices answered in unison: "Okay, dad, you get the toy."

On the Light Side

When our client’s dog lapped up anti-freeze, the veterinarian I work for ordered a unique treatment: an IV drip mixing fluids with vodka. “Go buy the cheapest bottle you can find,” he told me. At the liquor store, I was uneasy buying cheap booze so early in the day, and I felt compelled to explain things to the clerk. “Believe it or not,” I said, “this is for a sick dog.” As I was leaving, the next customer plunked down two bottles of muscatel and announced, “These are for my cats.”

Where Did This Come From?

TALK TURKEY: This means to talk clearly, upfront, and directly. The rumor is that it started with the settlers and the Indians over a discussion about who gets what after a hunting expedition. Another is just based on old hunters calling turkey sounds so skillfully that the birds came very clear of firing distance (upfront, direct?) of them.

Idiot Sightings

IDIOT SIGHTING - A man walked into a Louisiana Circle-K, put a bill on the counter, and asked for change. When the clerk opened the cash drawer, the man pulled a gun and asked for all the cash in the register, which the clerk promptly provided. The man took the cash from the clerk and fled, leaving the bill on the counter. The total amount of cash he got from the drawer... . Stay alert! They walk among us!