MY KOOL FM

Just For Laughs

Two old guys are playing tennis. At one point, the ball rolls into some bushes and, when one of the players goes to retrieve it, he is confronted by a frog claiming to be a beautiful princess who has been turned into a frog by a mischievous wizard. If the player will kiss her, the frog assures him, she will revert to her natural princess state and marry him, and they'll both live happily ever after. The player pockets the frog and returns to the game. After a bit, the frog, inside the player's pocket croaks, "Sir, did you forget about me? I'm this beautiful princess, turned into a frog, if you kiss me . . ." and so forth, to which she receives the reply, "Dear lady frog, I will be completely honest with you. I have reached the age at which I would rather have a talking frog than a new wife."

Kids Say the Darnest Things

A farmer grabbed his 10-year-old son and asked, “Did you cut down that cherry tree?” “Yes, Daddy, I did,” the boy replied sobbing. “I cannot tell a lie.” The farmer grabbed the boy, put him on his knee and whaled the tar out of him. “But, Daddy,” the boy cried, “George Washington’s father didn’t do that to him when he cut down that cherry tree when he was a boy.” “That’s true,” the father replied, “but George Washington’s father wasn’t sitting in the tree when he cut it down!”

On the Light Side

The husband picks up a case of Budweiser and puts it in their cart. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife. "They're on sale, only for 24 cans" he replies. "Put them back, we can't afford them" demands the wife, and so they carry on shopping. A few aisles further on along the woman picks up a jar of face cream and puts it in the basket. "What do you think you're doing?" asks the husband. "It's my face cream. It makes me look beautiful," replies the wife. Her husband retorts: "So does 24 cans of Budweiser and it's half the price."